Thursday, June 5, 2014

Those Who Mourn Will Be Blessed: Kids of Divorce and the Church's Response

I was struck when reading a recent article from Lifeway's Kid's Ministry, and I was reminded about the precious children I see who already have divorced parents or who are facing such a situation. In some ways it seems that divorce has become accepted to the point that the children are sometimes overlooked, but I believe that an incredible amount of pain, loneliness, and uncertainty fills the hearts of these kids. A child exists because of the union of his/her mother and father, so when that marriage dies, the very essence of that child's identity is broken: the child wonders if their existence even matters anymore, and if they will ever be able to cope with this disaster (on average it can take 10 years for a child to fully process a divorce). We all know these kids, see them playing ball, even coming to church regularly, so what should be our response as the church? How can we create hope, stability, and maturity in these children when their home life is divided, confusing, and unstable? When a child loses a parent to death, the church is usually there to offer support in many ways, but what about the child whose mother or father has left home? Maybe it's time that the church began ministering to its most vulnerable parts instead of turning away from the shame divorce brings.

If the church is unwilling to grab hold of this issue and seek to serve kids of divorced parents, then the statistics will continue which show us that high percentages of adults whose parents were divorced have left the church and have no desire to return. This tragedy can be reversed if the church is a little more patient, a little more loving, and a little more concerned about the spiritual life of children who have divorced parents. Let's make sure they are welcomed, that their hearts are nurtured by caring teachers, pastors, and friends, and that they know God's love and grace are just as available to them as any other child. Instead of regret, anger, or anxiety the church must give these kids hope, joy, and a growing relationship with their Heavenly Father. May we as God's ministers never be responsible for the downfall of "one of these little ones who believe in Me" as Jesus said.


Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child — this one is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one child like this in My name welcomes Me. “But whoever causes the downfall of one of these little ones who believe in Me — it would be better for him if a heavy millstone were hung around his neck and he were drowned in the depths of the sea! (Matthew 18:4-6, HCSB)

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